I had forgotten how bad this thing is;
I really had.
Retyping the manuscript is not as
inspiring as I had hoped. It would seem that nothing can make the
Awful Space Opera less awful.
More explosions might help, but those
might be hard to come by on a sparsely populated planet. More
monsters? We already cut the dragons, and I think adding something
similar would be a step backward.
The prison escape sequence is too long.
It shows the weaknesses in my dialogue far to clearly. How can I make
it shorter?
One thing that I intend on doing (I
have a very strong feeling that this is truly execrable,
grammar-wise. But I haven't had my coffee and I don't care.) is to
write draft three in the form of a screenplay. That will, hopefully,
help me cut out unnecessary text. Hopefully. (Drew, what was it you
tried to teach me about why I use “hopefully” wrong? Is it
something to do with it ending in “ly?”)
But draft two is turning out pretty
much as bad as draft one.
The really awful thing is, it's also
turning out longer.
By the way, I have lice. Well,
actually, I don't, not yet, but considering how prevalent they were
at the orphanage Danae dragged me to last week I'm sure I will have
them soon.
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