Friday, February 3, 2012

End of the road

 Asheville, NC

So, here I am.

I've been in the States long enough that jet lag is no longer a convenient excuse for my lack of productivity. Can I get away with Seasonal Affective Disorder?

Anyway, I'm here, and the time has come to put together some belated goals for 2012. Not resolutions, because not even my very best friend would call me resolute. So this is the plan: one, move to Texas; two, finish a screenplay, or at least a first draft; and three, I don't really have a third goal, I've just always tried to make lists in threes ever since my days of writing murder-trial stories on autopilot.

Did you know that you can write 99 percent of a lead article on a major court verdict before the verdict is actually returned? You just leave the lead sentence blank and fill the body of the story with quotes from the closing arguments. Very handy when the jury decides it can't make a decision without trekking out to the crime scene and viewing it personally at 9 o'clock at night. That way, when they finally do make a call, you only have one sentence left to write before going to press.

Anyway, that's where things stand right now. I want to move to Austin (special SXSW discount for residents!), and I want to finish something. Anything.

To make up for wasting this much of your time, allow me to direct your attention to a very well put take-down of a recent episode of Glee, a show which must be punished for its mysterious ability to make me simultaneously want to vomit and desperately need to find out what happens in the end, by the Bitter Script Reader.

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